Happy Holidays!

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! Ours was filled with love, laughter, joy and snow! I mean, it snowed... in Texas...on CHRISTMAS! How awesome is that? Time to get ready for the New Year!  Be safe!

Throw an egg on it

(Picture taken with my iPhone 4s)

These past few weeks, I've been trying to go back to a flexitarian diet & get rid of processed foods (check out my 30 before 30 list on the right sidebar). Most of my life, I had an obsession with vegetables. I loved vegetables and grains and meat always came second. When depression hit me a few years ago, I ate whatever I wanted and obviously I regret it. Luckily, I've been on track with my healthier eating habits. 

If you're looking for something a bit healthier to make, this might be your new go to food. I guess in real life it's called "stir fry" but you're really not frying anything besides the egg. I cook the rice in the rice cooker (usually I use brown rice but I ran out) and sautee fresh spinach and mushrooms in a pan. Cook two eggs (sometimes, I scrambled the eggs in with my veggies) and throw them on top of your finished products. I love soy sauce (which is not really healthy for you with all of that sodium) so I dash a bit of that on top when it's all done. Voila! Obviously this is nothing new. Asian recipes call for eggs on top and inside their recipes all the and I WAS getting a craving for Korean when this "home made stir fry" obsession started but whatever. Grab some veggies, cook some rice and have a go at it. But leftover rice & veggies in the fridge so you can indulge on it when you get a craving. You'll be thanking me later!

If you want to try another recipe like this and maybe have some ginger on hand, check out Smitten Kitchen's version which I just discovered this morning.

If my sisters could see me cook now, they might flip because like I said in my previous recipe for Turnip Green Soup, I am no Paula Deen! I mean, I made blackberry cobbler the other day to eat with my delicious home made Chicken Noodle Soup!

My Christmas Wish-List

DEAR SANTA,

The following are the items I would love to be under my tree this year.

Top to bottom/ Left to Right (because I was too lazy to photoshop cool circles and numbers today)

First row: 

A 5 in 1 record player: Surely this is self explanatory. I remember listening to my grandpa's record player, which he still has, every time I visited my grandparents house. I've always asked for his record player and he never gives me a straight answer, so I've decided that I just want my own. I had a travel one in 2006 but I ended up giving it away. It was a stupid stupid decision that I regret. 

A gift certificate to Spool 72. It's my favorite online clothing shop (which I have yet to purchase from) and I'm in need of new clothes <3

Smitten Kitchen Cookbook: How can I not have my favorite food bloggers cookbook in my house?! 

Second Row: 

Nintendo NES system: The first time I fell in love with game consoles involved Mario & Duck Hunt. I'm sure you all feel the same. 

Ana White's The Handbuilt Home: I love Ana White. I discovered her blog when I lived in Alaska. If you haven't checked her blog out, PLEASE do. She comes up with plans for awesome things that you can hand build yourself. Spot a table at Pottery Barn that you loved? She probably has the plans for that. Mike and I are planning on building two things from her site (loft bed for my son & farmhouse table for our dining area) and I just want the book to obsess over future building plans :) 

Forever 21 gift card: As stated above, I need clothes & I love Forever21. The end on that one.

Third Row:

Polaroid Z2300: I want an instant camera. I would an old polaroid but they don't make the film anymore and it's a bit expensive. I'm not too fond of the FujiFilm instants (but will not reject one if offered lol) and this one has caught my eye. At first, I wanted a portable printer. The fact that this is a camera & printer all in one? It won my heart.

Piano: I taught myself to play my grandparents piano when I was a kid. I would take my grandparents piano but it belongs to my Aunt really. So I shall, one day, have my own. Not a keyboard. A piano. A girl can dream...

Digital Time-Lapse Camera: Really guys. Who doesn't want a time lapse camera? If you've never thought about getting one, I'm sure you are now. These things are GREAT. I have sooo many ideas for this little guy if it ever gets into my hands!


I promise I've been good,
Jenn

You're a virgin, who can't drive.

I beg to differ. I, Jennifer *Bleep*, am officially a licensed driver. I can't wait until the day my son asks for his license and I get to tell him the story of how I was 27 when I got mine. The morning of the test, I made a parallel parking spot in front of my dads house with bamboo sticks & practiced. I practiced so much we had to take a break to eat breakfast because I was starting to doubt myself. I mean, I was parking a Ford Taurus Wagon for goodness sakes. I had to get it right. Hours later, I walked out of the DMV with my license. My son had never been so proud of me. 

"MOM! IM SO HAPPY YOU GOT YOUR LICENSE! NOW WE CAN GO TO WALMART WHENEVER WE WANT TO!!!"

ERRRRRRR! *Puts hand up* Stop the bus. I want to make sure you all know that at this point he must have been high with happiness because he clearly was delusional. We do not shop at Walmart :D Nevertheless, I just nodded and agreed. All I could think about was that I can actually start buying clothes I like because now I'll have places to wear them to. Or how my library books won't be late anymore (which I owe a 30 dollar fine or something) because I won't dread making the bike ride up and down the hills to get to downtown. Or how we can finally go to downtown Dallas on dates to the indie theaters or drive to the bus stop to make a trip to check out the new Perot Nature and Science Museum. Or how I can finally drive to the college in the next town if I have to, to take classes when school starts. Or how winter is officially coming and we'll have a warm car to travel in when we need to get to work. Or how I have the potential to get a new job <33

Okay these are obviously just dreams. Our next step is to get a legal vehicle to drive. Crossing my fingers that I make the best decision as soon as possible. After that, this blog may get slightly more interesting because of my easier access to the outside world.

Do you know what this also means? I've marked a 30 before 30 item off my list!! I feel wonderful that I accomplished that goal. It's taken me a few days but it's finally settled in. I am very proud of myself. I called my boyfriend the moment I got it because I wanted him to be the first to know. He sent me the sweetest texts on that day that just meant so much. *sigh* Anywhoo...

I haven't blogged in the past few weeks and according to Instagram, the following has happened:

We somehow survived the midnight premiere of Twilight. We were pretty miserable and tired when we got there but I did it. Ha! I say I because Mike fell asleep mid movie. That's okay. He didn't really miss too much but I DID try to wake him up when the only good scene in the movie popped up. Failed. He's such a hard sleeper. He was obviously already half asleep in that picture but he is such a good sport. 

Let's see, what else. We went out for the first time in awhile. Took a picture together. Oh look! We're still together! I have proof! Look at our kissy picture!

Yes, you should feel bad for the person who had to suffer and take this for us. In the real world, she's my pretend sister wife. Tonight, was obviously not her night with our pretend shared husband. Don't act like you've never had a pretend sister wife. Or pretend lesbian lover. Whatever your little adult heart desires at that moment. 

Hmmm what else do I have for you? Besides Thanksgiving where I prepared my favorites: Green Bean Casserole and Candied Yams. I couldn't stand the sight of seeing anything go to waste so I froze what I could days later. Especially my moms gravy. She makes such a delicious gravy. 

Besides lots of pictures of my baby boy & the horrible haircut I gave him...

I have nothing else for you. I've been so busy at work during this holiday season. I've come to the conclusion lately that I need to make a bigger change which will probably include additional sacrifices but it needs to be done. I haven't had a day to spend with my family together, besides Thanksgiving, in months. It's taken a toll on me and my relationship with both my boys. I don't like it one bit. Family is the core of who I am and if that isn't stable, nothing about me can be. It's that serious. So whatever changes need to be made to have a day with my boys will be made soon. Even if it includes working double shifts one day. Whatever to be with my boys. It already sucks that I generally have to send my baby boy off on weekends because I can't afford childcare. But never having a day with my love or even a night because of our schedules. Bleh. It sucks. Life could be worse but if I could adjust it to be a little better, I will. 

I hope you all are having a great holiday season! Remember the reason for the season, whatever that may be & don't stress too much on buying presents. It's about family after all :)

My Record Wall

The other day I went to the thrift store. As I usually do, I head to the back to see if I could find the record player of my dreams. This never happens so I continue to look through the books. They always have records there but I never buy them because I currently don't have a record player. While I am currently waiting to inherit my grandfathers, I have become quite impatient. I remind my boyfriend every time we pass by the record player at Target that it needs to be mine very soon. Anyway, that night, the records made me stop. I have plenty of blank walls to fill and why not fill it with music? Mike loves music, I love music & our wall needs some character. Why not? Thus, behold, the creation of a record wall. Each record was 65 cents each. I tried to get ones I knew but I really also wanted ones with color and spunk. I wasn't sure whether I was going to put these above my bed or in the living room, which probably explains why I got Klymaxx and Body Slam. Ha! The best part of these records is that they consist of disco and 80's pop which describes me perfectly. Although, my favorite record is the Heavy D single (the album with the record player on the front). 

I'm so happy I did this. I was born a naturally creative and unique person and the past few years, as you know, that disappeared. I stuck with this idea and I'm very proud of it. Sticky tack is currently holding them up so I hope they don't fall but I wanted to test their placement. I bought double sided mounting tape but I kind of want to find a better alternative, as I don't want to ruin the sleeves themselves. Anyone have any ideas on that one?

Let's cut the crap.

This blog is nothing special. I'm incredibly indecisive. I change my layout all the time as well as my direction. That honestly reflects exactly who I am as a person. That is me in real life...indecisive. I don't have any special super talents as of now. Any talents that I do have I am finally trying to perfect again. There are two things I'm really good at: giving love and being a Mom. Everything else needs to be worked on. I don't have too much to offer the world as of now, except my opinions. This is not a frou frou blog. My life isn't the most positive out there. I don't offer prints, graphics, freebies or any of that cool shit that other people can offer you. Can I do those things? Yes, of course. Am I good at them? Probably not. At this time in my life, this blog's direction is really starting out at the beginning of my new life. If you're here, you'll be watching me grow. Complain. Delete my blog and start over again. You'll see me evolve and you'll see me retreat. I'm not here to be famous. If, for some odd reason, somebody thinks that I am cool then that happens. If not, oh well. The fact that you are here and interested enough to stay, thanks. There will be other blogs and I am one of millions.

Oh yeah, Halloween.

How did I forget to talk about my favorite holiday with you guys? Hands down October is the best month and Halloween is pretty much the best holiday of the season. For the past few years, through my depression, I didn't give one crap about holidays. I pretended to but really, it was annoying to be so happy. This year, however, I decided all that would change. I was in a better mood & my son was very much in tune with every thing going on around us, including Halloween. I was a bit excited at how aware he was. So I decided to be a dead princess & he turned out to be Darth Vader. We strolled around downtown for their Halloween event & waited for the BF to get off work. Bad news: BF ended up  having to work late which was a real bummer so we strolled around a friends neighborhood until the kids buckets were filled. This is what I looked like by the end of the night:

Just like a normal mom by the end of the night, carrying her shoes, covering up her back from being bit by mosquitoes and carrying her kids costume accessories :) It felt good to get into the Halloween spirit, even if it was just for a few hours. Oh yeah, I cut my hair :) Part of my 27-18 project that I have yet to post about. Soon people! Soon!

Road Trip: Washington/Oregon

Things I remember about my Washington trip last year:

• It was a hot 75 degrees in Alaska when we left, so I decided to wear a colorful dress and bonnet. Little did I know that when we landed in Seattle, it was a chilly 50 degrees and I was full of color while everyone else around was wearing some sort of black or grey. 
• Traveling with two dogs, two kids and two adults was not fun. Michael met up with us & brought an Eclipse. Umm? So we ended up renting an SUV and stayed in Olympia. 
• My nephew got sick and either puked or pee'd in Mike's brothers bed. Luckily, Mike's brother has a kid & understood.
• It didn't seem to rain a lot but it was always dreary. There was sun a few times & when that showed up, the landscape was extra pretty.
• Washington looked a lot like Alaska.
• I saw my first sunset in Washington. It was absolutely beautiful. The picture above is one I took while it was going down. It was also taken on my second trip to WA rather than the one on the road trip.

Things I remember about our few hours in Oregon:

• I loved how Portland looked. I'd actually never seen a city like it. Something about it was very different. If it weren't so grey overhead, I'd move there in a heartbeat.
• The traffic seemed worse then Dallas.
• Was our first time traveling on a road UNDER a bridge; it wouldn't be our last on the West Coast.
• We made a pit stop in Eugene to visit a friend. It was a college town but I kind of enjoyed it. Reminded me a bit of the town I currently live in but...bigger. 
• It rained, a lot. It was pitch black when driving through the mountains and it was raining. Very scary combination. 
• We never pumped our own gas. Kind of made me uncomfortable to have to wait for someone to do something I could just do myself THEN have to tip that person. I guess if it creates jobs...

I really thought the North West was beautiful. We didn't spend too much time there but what I did see was very pretty. Now only if there were a bit less rain & dark clouds, it would be heaven on earth. I actually can't wait to go back. The second time I did go to Washington (a few months after this trip), the sun showed its face a few times. When that happened, it was like somebody had increased the saturation in everything. Everything was a bit prettier and brighter than I had originally seen. I can't wait to see it all again.

My biking calf muscles

So I've been riding my bike to work and back for a little over a month now. Each day gets easier but some days are much harder than others, depending on the wind. The only thing I've gained out of this are the muscle definition in my legs. They aren't too strong either but they are much stronger than what they were. I haven't lost any weight which has been a bummer. I don't know why but I expected to lose something. I haven't changed my eating habits so I don't know why I expected anything to happen. My butt is getting better but it's still flat :/ That;s what I get for being born into a family of pancake buns. How has nothing happened yet?! I ride 4 miles a day for at least 4-5 days a week! And I walk everywhere else. I also discovered that drinking gatorade was just as bad as drinking a soda. Bleh. Straight water again. I actually do see results when I drink straight water but it is SO HARD when you're addicted to sugar. Yes, addicted. I'll admit that sometimes I do just wish I would drive to work. It's so annoying when you just want to be home and you have another 10 minutes to go & the wind is blowing at you full speed. I will eventually get my license and since the winter is coming up, I should probably do that now.

I know this post doesn't have a lot of substance but I really just wanted to show off the progress in my legs that biking to work has done for me :)

Turnip Green Soup

I am not a domestic diva. I'm domestically clumsy especially when it comes to cooking. I was not granted the gift of being Paula Deen's twins like my sisters. I suck at cooking. When I successfully cook something good in my house, we throw a damn party & shout to the heavens. Things I cook well: chicken spaghetti, chicken noodle soup, whole chickens (crockpot or oven), vegetarian spaghetti (freaking delicious), cupcakes,  french toast, blueberry croissants and now turnip green soup. My sister actually sent me this simple recipe and I went directly to the store to get it. How can you go wrong with soup? I also grabbed some whole wheat french bread to soak up the juices. 

Recipe:

1 lb Italian Sausage

3 cups chopped onion

1 bag frozen turnip greens

1 carton of chicken broth (I used 2 but next time will use 1 1/2)

1 can sliced carrots

2 cans black eye-peas (rinsed and drained)

1 can fire roasted tomatoes

1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

1/3 tsp black pepper

Directions:

Brown meat in stock pot then add all other ingredients. Bring to a boil and simmer for 35 minutes. Toast french bread at 350 for 10 minutes and pull out to let cool before serving. Add butter on top of bread if desired (I highly suggest this). Enjoy your meal! FYI: It's ten times better on the second day for leftovers according to my sweet boyfriend. Any time he scrapes to the bottom of his bowl when I make a meal shows a good sign. A really good sign.

*Note: I do not know where she got this recipe from (or if she got it from somewhere) or I would give the proper link. Just know it's delicious.

Im a 27 year old woman

My birthday was this past weekend. I've been alive for 27 years. While most people get scared to hit 30, I'm not. In case anyone isn't aware, 30 is the new 20. The older I've gotten, the more I've realized that with every age comes more wisdom and more youth. More youth? Yes. The older I get, the younger I feel. How is that possible? I'm not sure but I truly don't mind. I haven't accomplished too much in my life really. Most people I've gone to school with are completely done with college & starting to live their lives. I feel like mine has been a bit backwards. I went to the Army, got married, had a child, got divorced, and am now starting from the bottom up. I haven't been to school and just now have started to take that thought seriously. I spent a lot of my youth wasting time on people who didn't love me & protecting those who did. I led an emotionally filled life prior to now. I put everyone before myself for as long as I could remember. I've just now started to make myself a priority and it feels really good to be okay with tending to myself. I'm still a nurturer by nature; that's just me and I'll always be a child at heart. 

This past weekend, I celebrated my birthday for the first time in a very long time. I always thought of my birthday as another day. My birthday night only lasted a few hours but all I remember is that I was having fun. My son bought me the prettiest deer ring & skull necklace (yes, he's got money lol) and my love bought me this star sweater that I've been eyeing at Target. He knew I wouldn't have bought it for myself. The morning after I had breakfast with my family and still regret not taking some menudo home. Overall it was a great day & a great weekend. I'm currently enjoying my last day off, listening to some jazz & swing and observing my son & daughter in law while playing pretend. I'm also creating a list of things I'd like to do before I turn 30. I can only come up with 5 things but it's a start!

1.) Visit another country

2.) Get my drivers license

3.) Attend college 

4.) Bungee jump

5.) Cut processed foods out of my diet

I'm sure I can do all these by my next birthday, right? Yes. Every time I accomplish one of these, I have to put a new goal in its place until I've accomplished 30 of them. I was kind of inspired to do this because of Lacey's 30 in 30. Do you guys have any lists that you'd like to accomplish before a certain age?

*By the way, I have a new journey I'll be documenting on my blog here pretty soon. All you need to know (for now) is that it is properly titled 27 to 18 :) 

That one time we drove from Washington to Texas

A long time ago on my old blog, My Dear Jenn, I had a series I'd started about my road trip last year. Some of you might remember that I moved from Alaska back to Texas. My sister and I took the kids, via vehicle, all the way to Dallas in about a week and a few days. We flew to Washington (where we met up with Michael, who I was not with at the time), made a few stops in San Fran and LA, pit stopped in Arizona to see my sister's in-laws & finally made it to DFW. I had taken a few pics from that trip and they were left on my old computer. My computer, which was a dinosaur really, went kaput before I could even post any more about our trip. So here we are, a year and a half later, I finally decided to buy a new battery & charger for it. I transfer the items to my passport and what do you know? Goes kaput again. Oh well. $25 well spent. So, over the course of the next few posts, I'll be talking about the trip and sharing a few pictures. Not too much detail though but I'll do the best I can :) Above is one of my favorite pictures in my absolute favorite city. My body still has goosebumps thinking about the first time I saw the Golden Gate Bridge. However, I shall save that for another post <3

My 8 year anniversary!

With my bestie Dessirae! What?! You don't have friend-aversaries?! Well we do. Friendships are something to be celebrated! Not that we did anything special today except recognize that when the tough got going there was always someone there to help us through. I'm so glad we don't make those stupid duck faces anymore. *Picture courtesy of Des's Instagram

Instalife

  1.) A heart/lips couch my son wishes that we owned. Too bad its $400 dollars

  2.) The book I'm reading: The Happiness Project. Anyone read it? I love "self-help" books!

  3.) A bridge near the town lake that I love.

  4.) My son taking a picture, with his camera, of the lake.

  5.) In a Thor helmet, pretending to Mrs. Thor. We love the Avengers over here.

  6.) Showing of his little arms and little muscles.

  7.) The prettiest little dream catcher I spotted at the Pow Wow Championships.

  8.) My love saying good-bye to me at work & making a little heart symbol <3

  9.) The start of a delicious bruschetta with tomato & basil.

  Follow me on IG @goodluckjenn

100 miles in a month

I've been riding to work and back, via bike, for about two weeks now. My fitness level before this was pretty low but I'm sure much better than most. I mean, we usually walk everywhere, so my legs are pretty fit for a lazy lady. Quite honestly, I like walking if the weather is nice & the weather is always decent in Texas. It's the best when it is fall though. Speaking of fall, it usually comes pretty fast in Texas. One day its 95 degrees and the next in the 70's. It's time for me to get some long sleeves and jeans already! I barely even have a jacket! They are more like cardigans. 

Anyway, back to fitness. Did I choose to ride to work. Yes. Did I want to? Not really. Without giving too much detail, we don't really have a vehicle. To be quite honest, I'd be wasting a lot of money (that I barely make) on gas. So biking is the only option right now. When it gets REALLY cold, I'll worry about what to do then but for now, biking it is. It's not that far of a ride really. 2 miles since I take the back way, away from the highway. Takes about 20 minutes which doesn't feel too long when you're listening to the radio. I'm always listening to the 80's radio station when I ride. No other channel feels right when riding a bike. 

Some days I wake up and dread the ride. Whether it be the weather or the fact that I didn't get enough sleep, it sometimes can be a dreadful ride. But that really is a small percentage of my rides. For the most part, I like it. Cruising down the roads, carefree and having twenty minutes to myself without a thought in the world. Well besides avoiding getting hit of course. It's really nice. I don't have any horrible hills going to work (although there are tiny uphills) and riding back is a breeze. 

Since I've decided to take this "forced fitness" seriously, we've been saving up to get new bikes. Mike also rides his bike to work but on a BMX bike. His lower body is incredibly toned. He's kind of beastly. But it would be nice if we both had better bikes. Mine is borrowed and a bit rusty so I'm sure having a new one will make my ride a bit better. I added SpokeLit LED bike lights for safety at night and I LOVE them.

*Excuse my roughness. This is what I look like after a bike ride. *

I got the spoke lights from Academy for 6.99 each and I'm planning to get more. Mike use to make fun of them but he's seemed to come around and has been hinting that he wants his own. I got the disco version (because it was the only one they had) but I'm thinking I want to invest in some blue lights. Why blue? So people will think I'm a cop and try to avoid me. At least, that's what I hope they will do. And I'll get a white helmet as well. You think it will do the trick? I hope so.

It also made sense to add a bike trailer to our bikes for my son to travel in. I did a lot of research for the trailer within my budget and decided to go with this one by Allen Sports. Before I go any further, let me just say that there was a Schwinn trailer, on clearance at my work weeks ago & Mike had talked me out of it. For whatever reason, he thought we didn't need it because I didn't have a bike at the time. I thoroughly regret that decision and have learned my lesson. If I know I will need it in the future & it's a good price, I WILL GET IT :) Anyway, the moment I went to Walmart to pick up this trailer, these people had no idea what they were talking about. Said they didn't have it (although I called and confirmed they had 9 in the back) and when they did go get it, it was a different brand that was "cross referenced". Apparently, Walmart puts like products under the same code if they don't have an item? Um, I specifically came to get this particular item, not another brand. Before turning into monster, I decided to google the items reviews. Once I decided the InStep Pronto trailer had great reviews, I bought it. My son absolutely LOVES IT.

I won't lie though. I don't know who writes the reviews but I can feel my son back there. He's not even 40 pounds yet and I definitely feel a load while I pull. I think I just hoped for a smoother ride. The first time we went downtown, I yelled at my boyfriend who was laughing at me. The downtown ride, however, is full of hills. It's kind of horrible. The more I do it though, the easier it should get. This trailer is made to carry two children, maximum total weight= 100 lbs. I've actually put two children in here which probably totaled 70 and I was grunting. But when it's just my son, it really isn't that bad. The best part about this trailer is that he absolutely loves it. When we go anywhere, he thinks we're on an adventure. For his birthday, we just rode downtown (had lunch and ice cream) and to my dads house. That's all and he had so much joy in his face, it was infectious. He kept laughing and giggling in the trailer & when Mike zoomed him around an empty church parking lot he was yelling, "WEEEEEE! This is sooo much fun!!!" His last words before falling asleep that day were, "Thank you for the best day ever." This trailer is most definitely a keeper & I recommend everyone with a bike & child buy one :)

I dream of pigs

I have one dream when it comes to the rest of my life. I want to own a farm and on that farm I want to have pigs. Juliana pigs, micro/teacup and even potbelly pigs. Big and small. I don't care how annoying their oinks are or how messy they can get, they belong in my life. I'm so happy Mike has the same dreams, farm wise. Sure, he doesn't care too much for the pig idea but he's okay with it :) He wants a dog, I get a pig. I believe that's an even trade, right? 

The New Myspace

I'm embarrassed guys. I'm goo goo gah gah over the new Myspace look & it's been YEARS since I've been on that site. To be honest, who is really even on there? I don't know a soul who is on Myspace. Do you even remember it? Justin Timberlake does. He remembers it so much, he decided to shell out some money for it and with the help of other investors, revamp the site. Think it sounds silly? It doesn't look silly. It looks really aesthetically pleasing and exactly what I've been looking for in a social network. Eeeeeek.

Now the question is, would you go back?

The Art of Tracing

So I got bored tonight and somehow got the urge to trace via photoshop. I have to say, it was incredibly relaxing and I was so excited to see the finished product. This is my very first attempt to ever do this & its kind of hard using your couch as a mouse pad but I did it! I wasn't sure exactly what tools other people used in photoshop for this so I had to wing it & guess. I think I did pretty decent for my first go around. I cannot wait to practice more! Anyone have any tips out there that could help? 

Deer in the headlights

Honest post here guys. Where is my happy face? I know many of you who follow me on Instagram (goodluckjenn) might have noticed something missing in my self portraits. I have too & it bothers me a lot. The last time I remember seeing a glow on my face was (according to my IG) 7/21/12. It's been about 2 months since that picture. Has something happened between then and now that I look so exhausted and blue?

My son came home. Am I unhappy my son came home? Hell no. Then what is the problem? It made me look at the hard reality of my new life. I miss being a stay at home mom. I truly and honestly do. I miss obsessing over time spent with my family. Now I work full-time at a job that I can't truly advance in. Not only that but I cannot afford childcare. Thank goodness for family at this time. It's not my jobs fault that I can't afford to pay childcare but in this reality, I either must get a second job or find another one. I'd hate to leave my job before the busiest time of the season but it's a dog eat dog world and I have to do what I can to survive & provide. This is the real world. As much as I want to be with my baby all day, every day, I cannot. It hurts.

Walk and bike

Before my son came home, the BF and I went to the park pretty often. It's not too far of a walk from our home & provided a great chance to get out and get some fresh air. It's a guaranteed 2 mile walk (total) just to get there and back, not adding up the walking we do around the park. Now that the weather is cooling down and the tot is home, our trips have become a bit more frequent. My son use to complain about the walk. He wanted a car by the time it was time to head back. Today, however, was different. I think he's finally accustomed to the fact that the BF and I walk/bike a lot of places. In Alaska, he couldn't just walk around the corner to the store & quite frankly, when it is cold, who would want to? He wasn't use to exercising either. Today he asked us why we walked. I plain out told him, "We walk because we want to exercise so we don't get "fat" and because we like to walk." He responded with an "Ohhhhhh!" and I really think he understood that it was a good thing. On our walk, we made it into an adventure. He led the way with a big stick in every which direction. Mike took his bike as I carried our backpack & we hunted for bad guys. But not before we fed the ducks.

He was so eager to feed these ducks & brought along his personal crackers to share with them. That was until they started chasing him for more. Seeing him squeal in delight while running from these harmless things made me laugh. I did notice that some of the ducks seemed sick and alerted the local city's facebook page (who are actually pretty active with commenters) to come and take a look at them. 

After we fed the ducks, we walked around the park to experience our adventure. My son had no stopping point. We actually had to tell him it was time to head home and hour and a half later. Little did he know, we had walked 4 miles total by the time we hit our doorstep. My feet knew of course, all blacked out in my flip flops with dirt. There is nothing more entertaining then seeing your child develop and use their imagination though. Not just that but you get an excuse to act like a child as well. It was an awesome end to my day & he still didn't fall asleep until 1030 tonight. He has so much energy!

Speaking of walking/biking, I'd love some advice. Is 4/5 too old to have a jogging stroller or a bike trailer? There are just going to be some times where we might want to go longer distances or when I'm with my son might be the only time we get to exercise and he might not be able to keep up the pace. What do you guys think? 

Also, what do you think about watermarks? I personally hate them but I'd also hate if my pictures were stolen or put on Pinterest without an original URL attached & I get jipped. I'd love your thoughts and suggestions!!

Saturday

This weekend in North Texas, we went to a Pow Wow Championship. Now, I've been to a few pow wows in my life and they were wonderful. This one was not as grand as I was use to & I even got a little bored. I was a little lost and confused on how these contestants were judged and what they were judged on. Never the less, my son and I walked around the flea market (Trader's Village where it was held) & had a blast checking out all of the contestants traditional gear. My son did not want to leave without a dreamcatcher, so we traveled around the flea market to find one just for him. After he bought one, he bought another one just for our room so that it would catch our bad dreams as well. How considerate of him :) He also bought a hand drum and all the items we bought were handmade, which I'm very proud of. Will I go to the Pow Wow next year? Probably not. However, I live 45 minutes from Oklahoma. Problem solved. Below are a few pictures from the Pow Wow Ceremonial Dancing Championships that I was able to take:

Oh and did I mention that while I LOVE photoshop actions, I just discovered the power of curves here. WHY didn't anyone tell me about this sooner? You guys need a spanking. If you didn't know about the power of curves, you know now.

Let's start over.

Guess who came home after 6 very long months? My angel baby. I can't believe he has been home for 2 weeks already! I was truly worried about how the transition was going to be for him when he got home. As usual, he shed some tears the first night. Never fear though, I always seem to explain what's going on really well and make sure to listen to his feelings. I think listening is incredibly important with young children. You can't just tell them how to feel. You have to let them feel. When his Dad left for his last deployment, my son was upset. When we moved out of our home in Alaska, he freaked out when he walked in his room and everything was packed up. He has been through so many transitions in his short little life. Deployments, moves, divorce. He is incredibly strong and brave for a little guy. And let me tell you, his memory from the past 2 1/2 years is phenomenal. He remembers everything! I'm so impressed. 

When he got home, he made sure that I knew that he knew how to clean his room. He let me know about his new cartoon love, Phineas and Ferb. He sings songs in full, which he never did before. I worried about if he forgot about me since he was gone for so long. He surely didn't. The first time he laid eyes on me after getting off that plane, I knew he remembered. He was amazed and glowing. He didn't scream or act crazy. He just wanted to hold me and he had the sweetest grin on his face. It was wonderful. I'm happy to know he still loves broccoli but it saddens me that we no longer share the same love for gravy. I got to take him to see The Avengers, something we've both been waiting to see together for months. He was thrilled. 

Mike and my son get along great together. Michael is so good with kids and especially Xavier. They entertain each other and when I don't happen to have the energy to want to do something, Mike does. If I don't want to build legos, Mike will. Our environment is so peaceful here. I'm so happy that I have my two boys. I hate going to work and leaving them behind. They really lift my spirits up and put me in a positive mood. I will never get bored with these two men in my life :)

testing, testing

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