The truth about love is that it doesn't come easy. You already know that. The phrase is cliche but it never hit home until recently. Relationships need to be taken care of. Sacrifices need to be made. You are no longer just an individual but a pair of individuals that have to work & be together to make things go as smoothly as possible. Especially if you're polar opposites like Mike and I. Clashing personalities have to work especially hard to be together. These past, almost two years, have been so enlightening. It still blows my mind that we're almost 30 & we were barely legal adults when we met. Our first encounter set the tone for our future relationship, I think. We both stared at each other and instead of love at first sight, our first thought was, “Who the *bleep* is he/she staring at?” Maybe it was just our way of fighting an attraction to each other? Not even a sexual attraction but I was immediately drawn to this person, whether I liked it or not.
Our relationship has been rewarding but full of hurdles in the earlier phases. Coming from two different places of mental development was kind of hard. We both expected different things from each other & assumed it would just be handed to us because we loved each other. Blinded by love as they say. Thankfully, I really believe we are at a great point in our relationship. We will always be developing & growing, because we can’t flourish if we stay still. To say I love everything about him would be a lie. Of course, I don’t. But I do accept everything he is enough to love him in his entirety & vice versa. I appreciate his entire being. It makes up the person I love today. Life is absolutely not a fairytale & it truly bothers me when people say they are living a fairytale. You cannot live a fairytale because fairytales are just stories. It takes a younger person years to figure this out so I can’t really bash them or give them a side eye. People are just young. I think it’s my responsibility, as a blogger & an adult, to make sure younger generations get bigger picture when it comes to relationships. I love my boyfriend (goodness, I hate that word) & he loves me. Please remember that there might be plenty of fish in the sea but you’re not going to meet them all. When you run into the one person you really enjoy being around, who brings out the best in you, who inspires you & you’re chemistry is undeniable, stick with them. The grass is not greener on the other side. It is greener where you water it. Just because you get into a fight, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be together. It probably means you guys need to work on your communication. You’re not going to have a good relationship without good communication. If you have trouble, go see a professional who can help you guys work on discovering how to speak to one another. Because when you really want something to work, you have to put effort in and know things worth having will not be handed to you on a silver platter. If you want to deserve the outcome, put some muscle into it. I promise you, all that hard work with give you something you can be proud of & something so special. A relationship without regrets. Without what ifs. You won’t have to let that person go because you assumed it should come easy. You’re lucky enough to have them in your life because you aggressively fought to keep them there. I’m so lucky to roll over every morning to see Mike is still in my life. That he still loves me, even if we had an argument the night before. That even though he was mad at me when he fell asleep, I woke up to find his arms around me when I woke up.
I hope this doesn't come off as an "Oh MY GOSH, this relationship is so hard and I have to fight to the death to stay with this guy!" Because it really wasn't what I was trying to say. *Note, sometimes I want to pull his ears because he can get on my nerves but most of the time I'm smothering him with kisses. He doesn't mind :)* I just wanted to point out that it takes a lot of hard work to have a long term, committed relationship. The best things in life aren't free after all! I hope I really didn't come off as negative Nancy here! <3
4 comments :
Ohh yeah relationships are tough and communication is definitely something that can make or break a relationship imo. Fights/disagreements happen, we're only human. We aren't going to always agree with the ones we love and to be honest it makes me want to die laughing when I hear people say "we don't fight/argue (or whatever you want to call it)." Stop lying, everyone has disagreements, friends, family, etc. To be quite honest when it comes to David and I I find they help us grow when they do happen because we are at the point where we can learn from it and figure out the problem. To be quite honest I think it's one of the reasons we've been able to stay together for so long.
Love takes some hard, committed work but in the end it's soooo worth it! ;)
♥Jazmyn
I really agree Jazmyn! Once you commit to the relationship you are in, because you know you devotedly love that person, you have to continue to "water the grass". And yes, totally, even though fighting sucks, I agree that they completely help the relationship grow if you actually solve the problem or work to solve it. I'm kind of a self help junkie so I take every opportunity to grow but the best ones are during arguments. Plus, it shows how much you actually love one another when you say "Hey, lets fix this." <3
If relationships were easy they'd all last forever, right? They are most definitely work. I don't think I've met a single couple who've been together for 30 or 50 years who say "Oh, it's easy!" lol Not a single one... it's work and commitment. But it pays off :)
So true! I mean, I look at my grandparents and KNOW that must not have been easy for them to stick together so long! lol
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