Hard Sleeper

3.11.2013


Where do I even begin? Did I tell you guys that my boyfriend sleeps as hard as a rock? Or that he sleep walks & sleep talks as well? I've never experienced this with anyone else until I got with him. One time he got up to make coffee & didn't even realize it. Sometimes, he turns into a straight dick head. That's the only time I know for sure he's sleep talking because he doesn't act like that in real life. He's affectionate to me. One time, I woke up at 2 in the morning (I'm a light sleeper) to find our toilet overflowing. I yelled and yelled at him to wake up and help me clean it & he woke up being a jerk & fell right back to sleep. So I spent the next two hours running back and forth to CVS, on foot while it was drizzling trying to clean the mess up. Thank GOODNESS it was only water but it was up to my ankles. The next morning, Mike woke up to find our bathtub filled with wet towels and signs that something happened last night. He felt absolutely horrible. I mean, wouldn't that be horrible to wake up & find your woman had been under so much stress & you didn't help her at all? 

I was still mad at him, don't get me wrong. I always secretly think that it's his alter ego I'm speaking to while he's sleep walking/talking. That he really means what he says. Of course, I know better but someone has to be blamed for the way I felt! I mean, it's not like I was dreaming! ;)

Anyway, he has a history of this. Sleepwalking & sleeping hard as a rock. He always says that if someone breaks into our room he would hear it. I always laugh. I know darn well that if someone tried to break into our window while he was sleeping, I'd be the one that had to take action! But I love his wishful thinking. 

So let me tell you about last Saturday. Saturday nights, I sometimes stay really late for work. This particular day I went into work at 3 pm & didn't get out until 12:45 am. Well, when I showed up at home the door was locked. Which wouldn't have been a big deal if I hadn't given Mike my house key earlier. No big deal, he'll open the door. He didn't. He was dead asleep & probably on the couch. And as someone who knows her boyfriends sleep cycles, the next time to wake him up was going to be a few another few hours. And yes, he probably had a few beers. It was Saturday night after all. So he was knocked the heck out. I pounded and yelled for about 5 minutes before I gave up. I didn't want to wake the neighbors. So I went to my car and sat in the rain, while playing with my phone. I went up and tried one more time with that one failing as well. I ended up running across the street to CVS (because I was too tired to go to Walmart) and grabbing a few throw blankets and a pillow. Surprisingly, they were really comfortable. If it hadn't of gotten colder that night, I probably could have stayed asleep the whole night. Since you aren't suppose to sleep with the heater on though, I couldn't help but feel the gradual chill brushing up against my feet. 

I finally got up & decided to try again. It was 5 am and about the time his sleep cycle would lighten up. Knocked on the door, which finally opened. Went straight into my room, took off my clothes and fell asleep. Didn't say one word to him. He already knew he did wrong, which was why he didn't sleep with me that night. He slept on the couch, willingly. Ha!

The next morning he found out that it was 5 am when he opened the door. He felt like a fool, once again. And let me tell you guys, this isn't the first time this has happened! This is about the second time I've been locked out of the house. The first time, I actually spent the night at my Dad's around the corner & went home around 6am. I know there might be another night that this might happen so I'm planning to put an emergency kit in my car containing:

*a comforter
*my new favorite throw pillow
*my throw blankets to block the windows
*hand/feet warmers

Do you guys live with someone who sucks at sleeping? Pretty sure there will be plenty more stories in the future all due to Mike's sleep walking. He's also starting to rub off on me! The other night, I thought I was in a super secret agent dream where my boss texted me that Mike was there to kill me. You know, Mr. & Mrs. Smith style. I apparently was still sleeping & he asked to use my phone (in real life). My first instinct was to grab my phone and delete all my super secret agent texts! In real life, it looked fishy as hell. I was terribly embarrassed the morning I woke up & remembered! So now, I kind of know how he feels! But at least I don't lock him out of the house, while it's raining to sleep in the car, freezing for hours!




12 comments :

amber.m said...

I seriously just laughed SO hard at this! Well, only the last part about the secret agent texts.
That's so insane that he sleeps that hard though!

Denysia Yu said...

I loved this story! I've never been with someone who sleepwalks, and talks, but hey it makes for an interesting story afterwards! :)

algon rose said...

I feel ya. My husband, when we first lived together he did this all the time... 5 yrs later he doesn't do it anymore. He has to be extremely stressed out for it to happen, but never happens like before. Just be careful not to startle him when he's really out of it. Remember, he has no clue what he's doing...

Natalie Hinkley said...

That sounds awful that you had to sleep in your car!! He is lucky to have such an understanding gal, I don't know if I could handle all that, lol.

Tasha said...

One night my husband fell asleep and forgot to pick me up from work (I worked at Target then). I had to call my sister-in-law to come pick me up! I was livid!
I hope it doesn't happen to you again, but you never know. Better to be prepared, I guess. :D At least it'll be warming up now, so you won't need as many blankets & stuff.

Jenn said...

Yes it does!!

Jenn said...

That's probably why the sleep walking/talking has intensified. Stress and all! Makes sense on this end.

Jenn said...

I hope he knows how lucky he is!

Jenn said...

Same thing has happened to me! I had to get a ride! Thank goodness someone offered it to me! Mike got the stink eye when I got home lol

Jenn said...

Girl, my wake/dream episodes have been really recent. He has to be rubbing off on me or I'm just so incredibly exhausted lately!

Amber said...

Surprisingly, my boyfriend and my dad have almost identical sleep patterns. It creeped me out at first when Jade and I first started dating, but now that I've gotten used to it, it's more of just a familiar thing. Thankfully I don't have to worry about Jade locking me out of the house. I get to deal with his insanely loud snoring, his sleep talking, every now and then he sleep walks, and he can be a violent sleeper. He tosses and turns all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've had to yell at him because he rolls over in his sleep and literally sweeps everything off the nightstand! When he falls asleep holding me, I fall asleep with my hands in front of my face so he won't accidentally smack me in his sleep! At least he doesn't play piano on my ribs like my dad does to my mom, though. Anyway, sorry this got to be such a long comment. I stopped by from the Texans Who Blog Facebook group. I blog over at Our Crazy Wonderful Life, if you would like to stop by sometime :D

Jess Craig said...

KILL KILL KILL. you're nicer than me. i dunno if anyone else mentioned this, but maybe you should get like a few keys made, and just have a bunch of backups. you can keep one hidden in your car or something? probably cheaper than making an emergency kit.

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