I've felt like my emotional/mental health has been getting a bit better lately. I couldn't quite but my finger on why. I'm poor. I'm struggling almost every day, especially for childcare. My hours at work suck and I can barely make a wage & it's never a living wage. My son hasn't seen his father yet for the summer and I've been bummed about it. I really want him to go. Their relationship is so important to me. Just patiently waiting on that. Among other things, every day just seems to be a fight with the world.
I was in the middle of reading The Happiness Project when I just had to stop and talk to Mike.
"Baby, I don't know what it is but I feel really happy lately. I mean our struggles have seemed to increase more than ever and I have never been so happy."
He agreed. Something had changed in us. Our stress levels had died down. We were more lovey dovey to each other than we had ever been. It's nice to have someone tell you "I feel so in love with you today. It's stalkerish." I found myself not wanting to tie myself up in distractions and actually feel like I was spending genuine quality, uninterrupted time with my baby boy, with my family. What the heck was it?
The only thing that changed was Mike's schedule. His days off ended up being my days off. That was so stressful when thinking about childcare. Every week I already struggle with finding weekend care and to add another two days was bleh! But every week we somehow managed and got to spend a few days together in the process. After months and months of not having a day off together, we've been spending two full days together. Do you KNOW how wonderful that feels? I even mentioned it to him that I've been feeling great the past few weeks that he's had the same days off. Spending time together, as family, is the stress reliever we needed. I'm starting to think that paying an extra amount of money for childcare or getting a second job to work in the morning will be key to maintaining our family time. It's just so necessary!
I could go on and on about how happy I feel lately but I don't want to keep repeating myself :)