Hello March


I'm alert. I'm alive. I'm still here. 

What a month. We moved into our new apartment on Valentines Day. Mike had to work all weekend and I was pretty much in charge of everything. Thankfully, my family helped me out both Saturday and Sunday & we ended up throwing half of my house away. Okay, not really throwing them away but I gave them to my Aunt to sell in her garage sales. Any extra money would be great for me. 

I'm currently sitting in the dark, in our living room, on our make shift pallet couch. Who knew we had so many blankets? Our little guy has had the stomach bug all night & he finally decided to catch up on his sleep. My heart pours out to him & I slept on this hard wood floor with him just to help him when he woke up to get sick. You know how kids can get confused, waking up in the dark. The moment I heard his body shift & start making suckle sounds, I woke up & got ready to pounce. Every time he opened his eyes and started to cough, his mama was there to lift him up and pull the trash can near. Poor guy. We finally got to sleep around 430 but woke up at 7 when Mike woke up. 

It's too bad we can hear every single thing in this apartment. It's much smaller than our old one and it seems like the noises are intensified. It's a good thing the little guy sleeps so well or he'd be getting up at 4:30/5 every morning with us. I hate closing his door. I'm paranoid of intruders now that we live on a lower floor. Hell, I seem to be paranoid of everything. 

I'm still trying to balance new budgets, new off days, etc. I have yet to get a crock-pot list together, which I would love to do. I could totally get dinner going in the morning & have it ready by time I get off work. I'm just having trouble finding low sodium, healthy crock-pot dinners. Any suggestions?

I never blog anymore. I really miss the days when I was most passionate about blogging. The connection with readers; the feeling I would get when I found new blogs to read. Blogging doesn't seem like that anymore. A lot of people start blogging now to make money. But blogging to make money is hard work. Keeping readers is what you should be focused on. Combing your craft. Developing content. Interacting with the people who care enough about you to stop by and see what you read. I wish so much for blogging to get back to its core. I'd love to rally the troops but I think I'm too paranoid to do it. I don't have the confidence for it. Hell, my work even knows about  my blog. What's a girl to do after that? Can she even really express herself without expecting consequences? I have shit like that to worry about now. It's only a matter of time before my family finds it. I mean really, if I'm so weary about it, why do I even have a public blog. Maybe this is it. Maybe blogging is what I've been waiting for. I mean, if the whole world sees what you think, you can't turn your back on it. You can't turn your back on yourself to keep the peace. Maybe that's why I blog. I blog to be myself and force myself to be okay with it because I lack the self confidence otherwise. It really is therapeutic, huh?

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